Dear Bobby,It’s nice hearing from you again through your note. I must confess, it was a very beautiful note. I could practically feel those kisses again with every constructed word of yours, those succulent lips, touches and then hush! The depth of your words as they formed sentences which expanded into paragraphs made the memories return fresh!
Your note did get me by surprise, but not because I can remember you promising to send me one.
It’s been over two months since we last saw, if I’m not mistaken, it was at Lowey Int’l restaurant, while I was waiting for the ‘other guy’ and you drove past which I can’t particularly say was coincidental. I remember smiling as you gave your dimpled smile, with your pink soft and full lips, those trimmed beards, the clean cut attractive suit and your wink, were all at work again. Coupled with that scent of yours that always filled and tickled my nose, it’s a pity your fiancée doesn’t like the scent, you remember me mentioning quite a number of times that it indeed, was surprising, but then, we are humans with different preferences.
Back to the point, Yes! You remember me mentioning meeting several Bobbies and that indeed you were different. These were the things which distinguished you. So you can imagine how I had to rack my head on who had sent the letter but then the specificity was at it again as I read the letter and there laid my answers.
You remember Bobby in high school I told you about, who always had his nose filled with mucus, soggy and dripping and a couple of times pooed on his panties blaming it on being overfed with lunch, you remember one other Bobby I mentioned at my previous place of work who gave spontaneous laughter amidst other strange behaviour and we thought him weird. So then, you can imagine why your mail didn’t particular get me by surprise, I in fact, almost threw it away when I saw it but was encouraged to look through.
You would recall I mentioned, Bobby for me only read ‘Boggy bobs’ and that was why I preferred to call you Bee, suiting for your own person.
Perhaps, you haven’t heard of friends with benefit, or perhaps you haven’t played dirty before, better still you may be unaware that sometimes our body lusts but our soul and mind can’t be fooled. What I had with you, was a thing of the moment, and that actually, is the surprising part of you sending me a mail. You see, dear Bob, mortality is vanity but whatever the soul is attached to is real and true. Just maybe, you thought you knew me else, you’d have realized that was mere pleasure for me. I can’t deny enjoying every bit of it, but no, I don’t crave or desire more, because I have come to realize that we need to be in control of our body, it shouldn’t be the one to rule us. Some things are pleasurable at the moment but their aftermath is very bitter. This is something the ‘Other guy’ has been teaching me. He even saw you peck me on my lips, even though we were already dating, he forgave me, you see that completely humbled me and opened my eyes to what exactly love is. I therefore can’t bear to hurt or take advantage of his love because love doesn’t hurt and Love is what I have for this ‘Other guy’ while canal attraction is what I had for you.
Come on, you really did think I would want to spend the rest of my life with someone who didn’t respect his girlfriend. The thief that once stole would most likely steal again.
The last line of your note was really cool and cute just like your radiating chocolate coloured skin. I daresay, you would make a good writer, perhaps you should begin considering this if you already haven’t, it could bring you fame and more money. About that pretty young girl who thinks she is your girlfriend, I’ll advise you respect her enough to set her free, she really doesn’t deserve this, let her be with someone deserving of her worth. Better still, you could gear this writing skill of yours and win her back.
By the way, the ‘Other guy’s name is Ted, he is completely awesome. I can’t wait for you two to meet. He actually thinks you’ll make it in comedy; he was full of laughter as we read through your note together. Bob, indeed you are endowed with so much talent! You are a gift!
Ted loves carols, so we’ll definitely be at your church carol. I’ll be in town in a couple of weeks and so would stop by at your place to say hello perhaps you and Ted could meet before the carol.
Have a great day dear.
Nancy.
This episode was written by Towunmi Coker, a 600 Level Medical Student of the University of Lagos. She writes at Towunmicoker.com
Which was your best reply? Send a mail to analyticalmusings@gmail.com or drop a comment below.
P.S. To subscribe and receive subsequent posts by email, click here. And if you love the post, don’t forget to hit the ‘Like’ button just below.
IROKO
December 17, 2014 — 7:19 pm
‘Towunmi Coker is a phenomenal author; she crafts her tale with unbelievable power and a vivid imagination, and she creates a tight plot with an unexpected twist to the original tale…
She writes exceedingly well too – no errata of note save a few mechanical lapses which in no way detracts from the pathos of the tale…
There is an almost overwhelming urge to psychoanalyse this response but I must try to refrain…let it be said though that it appears Ms Coker is writing from experience (hers or somebody else’s), but if i’m mistaken about this fact then it only adds an additional feather in her cap…
May I vote this response as the best of the featured responses? I consider that only this response captures the essence of the kind of “creature” who can ensnare an otherwise “all-together” dude (as Bobby presented himself to us, and as Nancy herself confirms), cause him to betray his troth, move on emotionally (or rather avoid emotional entanglement – notoriously difficult for females?) and resist, without breaking her stride, Bobby’s attempt to “let her down gently”, making it abundantly clear who’s letting who off…it’s difficult not to admire such a well-crafted #COUGAR (even if I’d rather not be a recipient of her attentions)…
Finally, I must say Dokita Ife really saved the best for last…e ku’se baba o, nn’o mazi, ete kenam o, sannu de aiki mai gida, ilioiva vizuri bwana
#My_two_cents
Eazy Boro
December 20, 2014 — 12:15 am
Lovely piece! I totally agree, this is the best rejoinder to the Dear Nancy series; it’s the perfect response to Bobby. It’s creative twists are off the chain. Except for the mechanical hitches, it flaunts yet again Coker’s creative writing prowess.