Analytical Mind

...challenging conventional thinking

Letter to The Main Chick

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Dear Rita,

As much as the “Main chick or side chick” cliché has become an accepted vocabulary in our dating parlance, it is quite unfortunate that you wear this tag with pride. I am the main chick, you say to yourself.

The question on my mind is, if you are the main chick then who is the side chick? I guess you have not taken time to think about this. The implication is that, your guy is a serial womanizer who has taken you for granted and is consoling you with nonsense. I see it as an act of desperation laden with poor self-esteem for you to stay in this type of relationship and still feel special about being the main chick. Because as it is, you don’t even know how many side chicks he’s got running – he feels has the right to chase other babes irrespective of how you may feel about it. On the flip side, would he like it if he was your main guy and you had other side guys?

If it has not yet crossed your mind, the relationship won’t satisfy you even if you eventually marry each other. Why? You ask. Because trust will continue to be a bone of contention between the both of you. If you’re under any illusion that marriage will eliminate the side chicks, you’re wrong. He will still continue to chase other girls and you will eventually lose your position as the main babe.

This guy is a player, the babes are his poker cards and their conquest is his pride. He has no emotional investment in your relationship, nothing ties him to it – you are just in a one sided relationship. Stop living at the mercy of a guy who does not value you. Stop demeaning yourself with this kind of relationship; it will only lead to heartbreak and emotional bankruptcy. You should not have to ask for affection from your boyfriend, it should be lovingly given to you.

Sign out of this relationship before you subject your heart to terminal damage. It is up to you to determine what you want in a man and the type of relationship that you want but one thing you don’t want to be is the right or left chick. You want to be the Chick and nothing else.

Yours Affectionately,

‘Torinmo Salau


Torinmo Salau is a budding writer who enjoys reading and loves writing on contemporary issues. She tweets from @torinmosalau and blogs at

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