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I have spent a considerable amount of time thinking about our freedom as humans in terms of the basis of our beliefs, our attitude towards life and our moral standing regarding certain issues. I recently came to the conclusion that as humans, our beliefs are not ours.

I have often wondered about why we do things the way we do: why are men allowed to have multiple partners while women are judged for doing the same thing. Why do women expect men to approach them for dates, and not the other way around? Why are men expected to go through ceremonial rites to marry women, but the same is not done for men? My head is full of ‘whys’, and I just don’t have any answers to them.

In spite of the many developments in the world, some traditional beliefs still hold true, even in the minds of the most educated elites. Why are women considered to be failures if they are unmarried, even if they are successful in their careers? Why are men in similar situations cheered as heroes? I’ve had to ask myself countless times if we think for ourselves or simply accept pre-conceived societal notions. We speak of freedom as much as we want, and we believe we are free people, thinking free and living our lives the way we want. Yet, we cannot deny the fact that we are living free in a prison yard. Does that make sense? We are prisoners of pre-conceived notions that are believed to be sufficient to sustain our human relations.



Demilade Fayemiwo is a scientist-turned-engineer, life coach (in training), writer, and as her friends call her, “blogger extraordinaire”.

She is a contributor on Musings of An Analytical Mind.






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