Revenge is a sweet dish best served cold, and even sweeter when the recipient is a potential lover who turned down advances from a man because he was just too poor.
I’ve heard this revenge story countless times: boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, girl has a higher standard of living and can sense boy is simply complacent about his life. Girl rejects boy, and ten years down the line, boy is successful. He then points and laughs at girl for not giving him a chance, and well, the story can end there, or boy might decide to show girl what she is missing, play ping-pong with her feelings and dump her by the way side, all in a bid to prove a point, or in this case, to seek sweet revenge.
I am hardly ever taken by these stories of gold-digging females who want a ‘made man’, hence they ‘discard’ (for lack of a better word) any man who does not meet up to the image they desire. Potential is what every woman is told to look out for, but the truth is potential is simply what it is – plain old potential. Nothing will happen if potential is not accompanied by plans and execution of such plans to attain success.
Why then are African ladies encouraged to constantly look out for potential much more than action? Is it a way of supporting a man’s complacency regarding the pursuit of his dreams or a twisted way to teach women humility where men are concerned?
I always say the only people who do not have potential are people who are dead; Every drug addict, every hobo and every complacent individual out there has potential to change their lives. Action and discipline are the only ingredients missing in the lives of people who are yet to attain their dreams. I want to be a world renowned author, but that will not happen if I don’t sit and type out my books.
So when men share their tales of sweet revenge, I can’t help but wonder why any woman in her right mind would leave a hardworking guy who wasn’t simply shoving potential in her face, but also taking active steps towards his goals. Many of these men were complacent but they fail to admit it when they tell us these ‘interesting’ tales of revenge. Many became encouraged after a lady they really liked shot them down for not meeting up to standard. So I daresay they owe such ladies gift baskets of appreciation. I hardly encourage women, especially hardworking and determined women, to date complacent men, because the imbalance may lead to insecurities which may often lead to abuse.
Just my two cents… XOXO
Demilade Fayemiwo is a scientist-turned-engineer, life coach (in training), writer, and as her friends call her, “blogger extraordinaire”.
She is a contributor on Musings of An Analytical Mind and tweets from @crememii.